Editor’s note: The following, delivered to Editorial Board subscribers only, first appeared in Political Junkie, Claire’s fabulous newsletter.

Only hours after hearing from Judge Arthur Engoron that he owed the state of New York $345 million plus interest (which could amount to almost $100 million), Donald Trump went to Philadelphia to launch a new line of Trump-branded sneakers. You can buy these shoes in “Red Wave” red or “POTUS 45” white for $199, or you can spring for the special, limited edition “Never Surrender” gold for $399. 

Except you can’t, because 1,000 pairs of Never Surrender kicks allegedly sold out in two hours. You can see all this junk here (including Victory 47 men’s cologne and women’s perfume for a mere $99 a bottle. Free shipping included.)

Hilariously, each item says in small type underneath the image of what you are purchasing: “The images shown are for illustration purposes only and may not be an exact representation of the product.” Buy two or more items and you will receive a free pair of shoelaces, “an exclusive Trump superhero charm,” and an invitation to a sneaker launch party: “Date TBD. (No guarantee President Trump will attend.)”

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Prepare to see a raft of new “businesses” arising in states even less well-regulated than New York, from which cheap Trump-branded goods will be allegedly sold in massive quantities, perhaps never delivered, and the money ending up in the slushiest of funds. 

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I would bet “President” Trump will not attend. First, because he hates being around ordinary people; and second, because he has a history of offering people stuff and then hoping they forget. For several years — in the run-up to the 2020 election and then raising money for his legal defense fund Save America PAC after he was defeated by Joe Biden, the Former Guy has advertised a promotion where a small dollar donor is chosen to have a meal with Trump: no one has ever won.

Here’s another tidbit: the small print at the bottom of the webpage says that these trinkets are marketed by CIC Ventures LLC, which has licensed Trump’s name, but that “Trump sneakers are not designed, manufactured, or sold by Donald J. Trump, the Trump Organization, or any of their respective affiliates or principles.” Further down: “GetTrumpSneakers.com is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign.”

Yet CIC Ventures LLC (“CIC” surely stands for “Commander in Chief”) is located in West Palm Beach, Florida, less than five miles from Mar-a-Lago. A little sleuthing reveals that the street address, 3505 Summit Blvd, West Palm Beach, FL 33406, is otherwise known as the Trump International Golf Club. But I’m sure it has nothing to do with Trump and his campaign, right?

The cons that Donald Trump has run on the suckers who do business with him, from bankers to tourists to voters, are so vast and various that they are hard to count. No pocket is too small to pick (go to the Trump Organization Store, if you don’t believe me.) 

Last Friday’s judgement (which, if you add the $4 million apiece Don Jr. and Eric were fined, and the two E. Jean Carroll cases for $88.3 million, come up to almost half a billion dollars before legal fees) was the biggest rebuke to date.

The first setback was the Trump University scam, decided against the Fraudster-in-Chief in 2016 for a mere $25 million. Founded in 2004, TU promised students that they would learn how to make money in real estate from instructors and materials “hand-picked” by Trump. 

That, of course, was a lie. 

But the lie tells you as much about our regulatory system as it does about Trump and the poor fools whose pockets he picked. 

Although the state of New York warned Trump University from the beginning that it couldn’t advertise itself as a “university,” because it had no state license to do so, despite mounting student complaints, regulators did not shut it down until 2011. 

If, as Aaron Rupar put it, when Donald Trump steals, he steals from everybody, he can do that because the state has not had the resources (or perhaps the will) to follow every Trump con where it leads.

As Trump University lumbered to a well-deserved death, Trump took to marketing all kinds of other garbage by putting his name in it. There was Trump Ice (2005-2010; it’s bottled water), Trump Vodka (2005-2011; it’s still sold in Israel because it’s kosher), and Trump Steaks (May-July 2007; “wholly mediocre,” according to Gourmet.)

So it’s hard to imagine if you actually wear Trump sneakers they won’t fall apart instantly, although for those who aren’t up-to-date: many sneakers are made to be collected, not worn. Sneaker collecting is now a multi-billion dollar industry: a pair of Nike x Yeezys that Kanye West (now Ye) wore to the 2008 Grammys were sold in 2019 for $1.8 million.

You can see where this is going: it’s a classic Don Con. 

Trump either licenses his name for a product, hotel or service; or he markets an inferior product under the Trump brand. The inference is that because everything he touches turns to gold, that people who purchase these things can either enjoy a taste of Trump-style luxury, or they will have an item that is an excellent investment.

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The point of money laundering is this: your investments don’t have to make money. If you have an income stream that you cannot legally reveal, putting it into money losing enterprises is as good as anything else, because otherwise you would have no access to that money at all. And the history of the Trump organization is the history of losing money. 

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But you may ask yourself — how can 1,000 pairs of Trump sneakers, even at $399 a pair (that would be about $400,000, math-challenged friends), help a man who is at least $500 million down, with ten months in the year to go? 

Well, it doesn’t, unless the sneakers, cologne and whatever other products follow are a vehicle, not for making money, but hiding it.

Let me explain.

The Trump Organization was founded as a real estate firm. In many ways, that’s still what it is, although the company no longer builds, but mostly manages their own and other people’s properties. 

And what do we know about real estate? It’s one of the main vehicles for laundering stolen and illicitly earned money, which is why on February 7, 2024, the US Treasury rolled out a new set of regulations requiring all-cash purchases of real estate to reveal their owners. 

Between 2016 and 2021, a minimum $2.6 billion was laundered through real estate deals in the US alone, with New York and Miami as the epicenters. By 2019, trillions of pounds’ worth of London real estate were also “washing dirty money clean,” as an old friend of mine (now deceased) who worked as an agent for Russian oligarchs told me. 

The point of money laundering is this: your investments don’t have to make money. If you have an income stream that you cannot legally reveal, putting it into money losing enterprises is as good as anything else, because otherwise you would have no access to that money at all.

And the history of the Trump organization is the history of losing money. 

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Here’s the tip jar. $10? Thanks!

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Let me float this idea. 

Trump now has a money problem. It isn’t just legal judgements that are soaking up his available cash and bleeding his various PACs and Super PACs; he spent $50 million in campaign money on legal bills in 2023 and is on track to spend much more in 2024, because appeals are more expensive than the original defense. 

The other problem is not just that Trump and his family will no longer be in charge of the Trump Organization, but that Judge Engoron imposed another penalty: an independent court monitor. 

This means they can’t move money around inside the corporation.

In other words, for the first time ever, there will be someone whose job it is to make sure the Trump Organization not just follows the law, but also doesn’t turn foreign money into American money that can then be legally used for a political campaign. 

My take? 

Prepare to see a raft of new “businesses” arising in states even less well-regulated than New York, from which cheap Trump-branded goods will be allegedly sold in massive quantities, perhaps never delivered, and the money ending up in the slushiest of funds. 

Remember: PACs and Super PACs do not have to say who their donors are — could be pillow companies, sneaker companies — as long as the money is American.

On that note, will it surprise you to learn that, according to the New York Post, the autographed Never Back Down golden sneakers auctioned at SneakerCon went to the Russian CEO of the multi-million dollar company Luxury Bazaar, Roman Scharf? 

Of course, it wouldn’t.